In the Winter
by Erena G.T. Rose
Summary: Weeks after he left with Aizen, Ichimaru lurks in the corners of Rangiku's heart and mind...as a memory...as her love...as a presence which is never really gone. Gin x Rangiku. Oneshot.


**_Okay peeps. This is my FIRST Bleach Fanfiction, EVER. So please, if I've mutilated the characters and their personalities beyond any of the normal OOC mistakes, forgive me. I'm new to this fandom._**

**_Um. The story is Gin x Rangiku. A little angsty...We'll see how you like the end. _**

**_Tell me if it sucks._**

**_Dedicated, ((in all it's horriblness, though he deserves better)) to Monday's Dusk-Noon. For getting me hooked._**

**_Let's Go!_**

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**"In the Winter"**

The 10th division office-room, filled with bookshelves, a pair of desks and mountains of paperwork was still…still and silent in the summer afternoon. The windows were thrown open, devoid of their shutters, curtains pulled back; no wind blew through…nothing moved…frozen in time.

Matsumoto Rangiku reclined on the plush cushion, empty-eyed gaze boring into the ceiling above her head. Her strawberry-blonde hair was pillowed beneath her, spilling a little over one shoulder; her lips were closed, her jaw loose; she was day-dreaming…noticing small things that had no particular meaning at all.

The lines of the slates in the roof, individual boards that seemed to draw closer together as the ceiling slanted; the further away they got, the closer they looked. An interesting concept, but it didn't hold her attention very long. Her gaze shifted, noticing the empty chair by the window, the foreign lily set in a vase on her desk. A white lily, with a bowed head and a bright plume of yellow stalks leaning outward from its middle, spreading in arched glory.

Abstractly pained by this image for a reason that her lackadaisical mind refused to pin down, Matsumoto looked away, moving only her eyes. There, across from her, was an empty couch…empty and unused since her taichou never deigned to be lazy for a while.

"_Relax, Ran-chan…Hitsugaya-san always has ya workin'."_

The sudden trailing of a soft, cheery voice through her thoughts gave her pause, though it didn't show on her face. A single blink…one more glance up at the ceiling and then Rangiku gave in to the urge.

With a half-smile of self-contempt, she closed her eyes and surrendered to memories she couldn't help but embrace.

* * *

"_Relax, Ran-chan…Hitsugaya-san always has ya workin'."_

_Matsumoto sat on the couch stiffly, upright; "Gin-kun…if Hitsugaya-taichou finds you here…in the office…he will be displeased."_

_Gin was lounging ever so cat-like on the spare couch, head resting on one arm rest and legs propped up on the other; he smiled in his usual way. "Ne…I don't think he'll be much in the mood to do anything 'bout it, Rangiku." He gave a little half-laugh, "I think he's got to report to a meeting…Aizen-taichou went as well."_

_Reluctantly, Rangiku smiled…her captain's dislike of formal meetings was well known. "I don't know why you still hang around 5__th__ division's building…you're not even lieutenant anymore."_

_Again, Gin smiled. "Eh…What can I say? Yatta! Ne…you know how hard it is te' break ol' habits, Ran-chan." He wiggled his eyebrows impishly, "After all, aren't ya still hangin' with me when you should be doin' your paper work?"_

_This time it was Rangiku who wiggled her eyebrows, "You know I don't touch the stuff…it's not healthy for someone do so much work!"_

_Gin waved a hand in the air, "Yatta…I did it."_

_She smiled, "Yatta noka…I doubt it, Gin-kun…you've never really done any paperwork in your life." She laughed._

_Gin smiled and they fell into comfortable silence; he was still sprawled across the second sofa with a sort of understated elegance. Rangiku tried not to be amused as her friend stared up at the roof, bare and made of middle-wood. "Ne…Ran-chan, you need some decoration in here…too much wood is bad for ya…" He glanced around, "Maybe some flowers…eh…water and air…and planty power…" He nodded, "…Hmm…sounds right."_

_Rangiku cocked an eyebrow but said nothing; she was still seated upright on the couch, a contrast to her smiling friend. With a sigh, she kicked off her sandals, and stretched her legs a little. Gin instantly diverted his attention from her barren desk and surroundings; through happy-slit eyes, she knew he watched as she lifted her hair off her neck and sank down into an easy reclining position, sweeping her hair over one arm rest as she turned on her side to look at him._

"_Better, Gin-kun? Am I relaxed now?" _

_He made a small sound in his throat, something like an exasperated little laugh. "Ne…we'll see soon. Relaxin' is all about the silence, Ran-chan. Ya need to be silent and still…you need to sleep too, if ya can get away with it."_

_Rangiku's eyes narrowed, "But if I sleep…I won't get my paper work done." And it only after the words were out of her mouth and Gin was chuckling that she realized how utterly stupid the sentence sounded. She never did her paperwork anyway…she always hid out in the 3__rd__ division garden, with Gin. She raised a hand lazily, forestalling her friend's rebuttal._

_Gin only smiled wider and looked upward at the roof; Rangiku did the same, studying the roof slats with loose regard. She watched the way the swirls in the wood made patterns, patterns that distinguished each board from its neighbors. As they slanted downward, further across the room, she lost sight of the patterns, unable to discern them any longer; now all she saw was the thick thin spaces between each board, saw them drawing closer until they seemed to be one single line at the edge of the room, above the window. _

_A breeze blew through and ruffled the curtain, sending the snow-white cloth to dancing. Rangiku found her gaze following each billow as the drape rose and fell on each small gust. It was soft…hypnotizing. Her eyes were getting tired and she allowed her eyelids to fall to half-mast, fighting the pull of sleep._

_From just out of her reach, across the low table on the other couch, Gin's soft, lazy voice came. "Relax, Ran-chan…ya need to relax…it's good to be lazy sometimes, ya know?" He sighed, breathing out quietly. "Relax…sleep."_

_Blinking a little to keep her eyes open, Rangiku tried to turn her head to look at her friend; when she did, the edges of her vision went black and realized that she was slowly but surely drifting off._

"_You're teaching me bad habits, Gin…ne…I can't go to sleep. Toushiro-kun will be very displeased with me."_

_Gin turned his head to look at her, his wide grin gone…replaced, as it were, by a small, sleepy—true—smile. His eyes were not tilted upward in good-cheer, but were instead at half-mast, like her own. Darkened crimson peeked outward at her, a rare display. "Ah…Ran-chan…let…it…go…" Gin gave a small yawn, covering his mouth slightly with one hand and blinking when he met her gaze once more… "If your taichou has problems with your relaxin', he can take it up with me."_

"_Gin…" Rangiku was going now…slipping into the realm of dreams…but she fought to stay awake anyway, clinging to the fact that there was work to be done._

_Gin, shook his head minutely, "Ne…Ya work too much and sleep too little, Rangiku…Sleep now…I'll keep your little autocrat taichou away…" He gave a slight imitation of his usual grin, "White-fur- ball-chan."_

_Rangiku wanted to laugh—thought she did…But the next thing she saw, instead of Gin's answering smile, was a veil of darkness and through it, she and Gin running along a pathway in a flower-filled garden. Running toward a golden sun over the hill top, he was smiling at her, his eyes were open…and he offered a hand to her, pulling her to his side as they ran together._

* * *

Rangiku was warm…comfortable…floating. 

Across from her, Gin was relaxing on the spare couch, murmuring words to her that she couldn't quite make out through her sleepy haze. She tried to turn her head more fully—maybe she could read his lips—but when she tried to focus on them, she was unable to. They blurred, forming into his usual smile…his laughing smile…his true smile. Again and again they changed, forming different expression as only Gin could.

She whispered to him…knowing he wasn't there…knowing he would never hear her…

"_Gin…Gin…I miss you."_

For a moment, in that hazy dream-state, Rangiku could have sworn that Gin's eyes opened, their crimson depths dancing as they only did when he was _truly_ happy. And for a moment, suspended in the time and reality that her mind had created, she thought he whisperedher name.

A muffled slam startled her and her eyes opened. The sunlight, streaming through the window, glittered in her eyes—at the edge of her lashes—and Rangiku paused before discreetly wiping the moisture away.

Hitsugaya was standing just inside the room, the door closed behind him—the muffled slam. His aqua-and-ice eyes were trained on her, on the hand she tucked against her side, bearing the remnants of her tears; she dashed her skin across the material of the couch, erasing the evidence of liquid memories.

By the pointed glance her taichou directed at her and the way his tightened jaw loosened, she knew he wasn't fooled.

Rangiku, still lying on the couch, eyed Hitsugaya as he moved into the room, placing a moderately-sized packet of paper work down on his own desk. Seeing this, Rangiku thought of her own desk, just beyond her line of sight, which she knew was stack with nearly ten times that much work. With a groan, she made to sit up.

This was no time to indulge in memories and lazy afternoons, despite what her imaginary Gin might preach in her dreams.

She was only half-way to a sitting position when Toushiro walked across the room, pulled out her desk chair and sat down. She glanced at him, a little thrown-off.

With an off-handed shrug, he riffled through her unorganized draw for something to write with, "You work on the other pile."

For a moment, she considered disobeying him…sweeping over there and collecting a good amount of her own work to do as well.

"_Ya work too much…"_

Gin's voice, so clear in her thoughts, startled her. She blinked and actually looked at the other couch, almost expecting him to be there, smiling at her while cutting her taichou a death glare from the corner of his eye.

But the couch was unoccupied, empty as it always was.

Blinking back a sudden stinging behind her eyes, Rangiku rose, stretched a little and adjusted the front of her robes.

When she was satisfied that she was no longer mussed from sleep, she walked to her taichou's desk, sat down and opened his perfectly organized drawer to extract a writing utensil.

She was just dipping the brush into some ink when Hitsugaya's voice floated to her, calm…commanding as her taichou always was.

"Finish that, go to your quarters and rest. You work too much."

Startled again, she withdrew her brush from the scroll, "I was under the impression that I didn't work enough."

Her captain said nothing…for a moment, she was sure he wouldn't answer.

And then…

"Maybe you need to relax…dream some."

Rangiku felt that peculiar stinging start behind her eyes once more and she blinked it away quickly, smiling softly at her captain. He wasn't looking at her of course—too embarrassed by this little show of affection—but she knew he was paying attention.

With a smile, she looked down and began to stroke out syllables on the parchment; across from her, she could hear her taichou doing so as well, using her less-then-well-cared-for brushes.

She finished that scroll, a pair of forms and decoded a message before she put her brush down and looked upward, smiling at the roof. The slants, the designs in the wood…and those lines that drew closer together. Intriguing.

She glanced at the lily in the vase on the edge of her desk, white—like her taichou's hair…like Gin's hair.

She looked over the curtains, limp and hanging to the sides of the window; they too were white…but they weren't moving…they weren't—

As if in answer to her next thought, a breeze danced through the open window, setting the curtains to billowing, snapping a little on the edges as they curved, bent, rose and fell.

The breeze brushed over Rangiku's skin, moving like cool fingers and for a moment she heard a voice on the wind…

But the curtains stopped moving…

…It must have been her heart, so desperate for any sign of him, tricking her eyes.

Either way, she smiled.

"Hai, taichou. Maybe I should…relax."

* * *

An hour and some minutes later, Hitsugaya looked up from his current paperwork to watch his lieutenant wave over her shoulder and walk out the door. 

It closed behind her and the silence rang in Toushiro's ears.

He saw that she'd done the entire packet he left on his desk; it was helpful that she had gotten that little portion of the paperwork out of the way…really it was…but he was more interested in keeping her mind occupied.

It had been several weeks since Aizen's desertion—weeks since Ichimaru Gin was revealed as a traitor—weeks since he left to be at Aizen's side in Hueco Mundo.

Hitsugaya was not fool enough to believe such a small amount of time would heal the invisible but steadily bleeding wound Aizen and Ichimaru had inflicted on his fukutaichou.

Before, in happier days, he used to think Matsumoto had _too_ much energy, always laughing and joking and bouncing around in a manner that was very childish.

He found that he didn't much like this less energetic, gray-and-pensive Matsumoto very much, either.

He would much rather have her as she was before.

With a deep sigh, he set his brush aside and glanced sullenly into nothingness. _Matsumoto is strong…she will pull through…_

But until she did…

Toushiro didn't like the way his thoughts were headed, however…though they had their differences, he very much cared for his lieutenant…to see her so downtrodden…so broken…

_It would be better if Ichimaru had never left_.

Ichimaru, traitorous bastard that he was, had been Rangiku's life-line, much as Hinamori still clung to memories of Aizen, though to a lesser degree.

Outwardly, his fukutaichou was as diligent in battle and in Soul Society's mission against Aizen as all the others. She never complained, never offered a plea for mercy on her friend…

Anyone who didn't know her better might have said she was taking this all very well and doing what was right by the Society because that is what was demanded by her heart.

And yet…

He recalled, not more then two hours ago.

"_Gin…Gin…I miss you."_

Words whispering from between Rangiku's lips, clinging—even in her sleep—to memories of her beloved friend. It both sickened and disheartened Toushiro to think of Gin's effect on Matsumoto…of his effect on her, even now.

She missed him terribly.

Toushiro did his best to understand—hard as it was—and could only wait for Rangiku to return to her normal self.

Until then, he didn't know whether it was wise to let her drown herself in work and assignments—or sake for that matter. He gave a wry little smile as he thought about his lieutenant, passed out over her desk, empty bottles scattered around her…

…perhaps, only in her drunken sleep, did she escape the memories of Ichimaru.

That wiped the smile from Hitsugaya's lips.

He blinked once and found that his gaze had fallen, without meaning to, on the single white lily that sat poised on the edge of the table in its own vase.

Matsumoto always had a lily there…a fresh, delicate, indescribably beautiful lily to replace the old one every three days.

Before the treachery of the three captains, he hadn't thought much about it…but now…she stared at the fragile lily with such sadness in her eyes, he had already come to equate it with Ichimaru Gin.

Though fragile was far from how Hitsugaya would have described the swordsman.

With another sigh of long-suffering patience, Toushiro glanced out the window, up at the blue sky, dotted with a few fluffy clouds.

He had always distrusted Ichimaru…something about the smooth words and sly grins; for Matsumoto's sake, he tried to get along with the other captain.

And it never worked very well.

Ichimaru became, was and would probably remain forever a traitor in the eyes of the Soul Society…Hitsugaya agreed well with that judgment…

But…in the silence of his office, gazing up the sky and watching the clouds form vague images, he thought of Rangiku's sad half-smiles and the tears she tried to wipe away.

_If only to make her smile again, Ichimaru…I would welcome you back with open arms._

* * *

Somewhere in the depths of Hueco Mundo, Ichimaru Gin glanced up from a leather bound book he'd read several times. A small, soft breeze blew across his cheek, carrying with it the smell of salt and lilies… 

…a breeze in Hueco Mundo, where no such thing existed.

With a sigh of deepened pain, Gin closed his book softly and placed it on the table beside his bed; there was complete silence in his room…in the corridors outside it…

A lonely silence…

…Nothing like the comfortable quiet of a soft couch in a nearly-empty division office on a lazy afternoon.

_Rangiku…_

Lying back against his pillows, Gin closed his eyes completely.

_If only you had held on a little longer, Ran-chan…_

He tried to think of her beside him…

* * *

Lying in her own bed, in her quarters, she closed her eyes… 

She tried to think of him beside her…

_

* * *

__They were seated outside, beneath the tallest tree in the 3__rd__ division garden; secluded, alone with only a few feet of space between them._

_Gin turned his head to look her over…_

_She smiled at him with tears in her eyes…_

"_I've missed you…"_

"_Ne…not nearly as much as I missed you."_

_They smiled at each other hopelessly, staring in fond silence._

_A breeze blew softly, ruffling their hair._

"_This ground isn't very comfortable."_

"_Neither is the distance, Ran-chan…I don't like being so far from you."_

"_Then come back." There were tears in her voice._

"_I can't."_

_More silence._

_She tried to force a smile, "Have you been reading any good books lately?" It was a lame question, but something to take her mind off the bittersweet taste of pain and sadness in her throat._

_He gave his usual grin, so beloved that it hurt. "Hai…it's called Tell Me No Lies…"_

"_Fitting."_

_He chuckled, she looked over him with aching eyes._

"_Ne…ya should read it, Ran-chan."_

"_Maybe I will."_

"_Good."_

"_Good."_

_There was nothing they could say to ease the tension between them, filled with words unspoken and sadness felt to the very depths of their being._

"_Does Aizen treat you well?"_

_Gin smiled thinly, "Aizen-sama has always treated me well…so long as I'm necessary."_

"_I see."_

_A pause._

"_Ne…And Hitsugaya-white-fur-ball-chan? How does he treat ya?" He tried to lighten the mood by throwing in the nickname._

_She shrugged one shoulder, eyes wandering over him, taking in every detail. "He treats me well, as he always has. You know that."_

"_Are ya sleepin' more?" His accent, very Kyoto, was coming back._

_She smiled wearily, a little amused, "Hmm, only as much as I can. You haunt my dreams, Gin-kun."_

"_Ran-chan…gomen…"_

"_It's okay…I'm glad I get to see you like this." Tears misted over her eyes, "Even if it's not real."_

"_Ne…don't cry." He reached out and for the first time, touched her. He brushed a knuckle under each eye, collecting the moisture. He brought it to his lips and tasted the salt, "I can't stand when you cry Rangiku."_

"_Gomen…"_

"_Don't apologize…I'm the one who should be sorry."_

_Silence fell again._

"_I'm sad, Gin-kun…because I know this isn't real."_

_White bangs fell before his eyes, but the startling crimson shown through. "Who says I'm not real?" He patted a hand over his chest, arms and thighs comically, "Ne…I feel solid and stuff."_

_Rangiku gave a choked laugh, tears clogging her throat._

_With a smile—a real one—Gin leaned forward and captured a length of her hair to wrap around his finger, curling it slowly. "I'm as real as ya make me, Ran-chan. I'm always here…in your heart…in your mind."_

"_But I want you here by my side…"_

"_You know that can't happen right now…"_

"_I know…"_

_Silence once more._

_Again, Gin collected a few stray tears on his fingertip and brought them to his lips to taste. Rangiku watched this, movement for movement, as if just the mere sight of him was enough to inspire awe._

_But they were fading. The flowers around them were disappearing, the sun sinking behind a cloud to never reappear. The sky dissolved above them, raining down little white particles of whatever dreams were made of._

_Gin glanced upward and then looked back to her. "I'm sorry, Rangiku…"_

_She only gave a nod, tears misting her gaze._

_Hurriedly, Gin reached out and plucked a single white petal from a nearby blossom and pressed it into her hand. He kissed the backs of her knuckles as he closed her fingers over the petal…and then he kissed her cheek, tasting the salt of her sadness there._

_Rangiku wrapped an arm around his neck, abruptly holding him to her…hoping, perhaps, by the rules of dream logic, that if she held on to him while she woke, he would be there when she opened her eyes._

_He chuckled in her embrace, "Let me go, Ran-chan…I'm only causing you pain…"_

"_I don't want to let go. Take me with you…? Or come back with me."_

"_It doesn't work that way, Ran-chan."_

"_Damn it all."_

"_Ssh." He petted the back of her long hair, kissed her cheek again…_

"_I'll return for you in the winter, Rangiku…"_

_She pulled him closer, "What?"_

"_The winter…Wait for me."_

_He was fading in her arms, his body turning clear and insubstantial. The tree above them was gone…they were floating in space._

"_Gin!"_

"_Wait for me, Rangiku."_

* * *

When Rangiku work abruptly, it was night. 

Crushed tightly between her embracing arms…was a fluffy pillow, white in color…

White…like Gin's hair…

With a sudden stroke of violence, Rangiku punched the pillow, throroughly pushing the stuffing in different directions so that it was nearly flat in the middle. She did so twice more, angry that she was so …so…broken.

_Take me with you…_ What was she thinking? She couldn't go to Hueco Mundo…it would be betrayal of everything she believed in …everything she loved…

_You love Gin…_

She silenced that part of her heart that whispered treacherous ideas.

Still angry and with shaking fingers, Rangiku wiped away a few rebellious tears that spilled onto her cheeks…and then narrowed her eyes as something stuck there, stretchy and tight, like suddenly dry skin.

An alien feeling.

With her forefingers, she reached up and peeled the thing off, walking toward the window to hold it up in the moonlight.

_A single white petal…plucked from a flower in a garden that doesn't exist…_

She could only look over it in mingled disbelief and heartbreak…

_Gin…he said…he said…_

"_Wait for me…"_

The light of the summer full moon shone down on her…

And in all of Soul Society, there wasn't a single person filled with more love, grief and unbridled hope than Rangiku.

She awaited Winter's arrival with child-like anxiety.

* * *

Gin woke with the taste of tears on his tongue and his own eyes watering in a way that he'd prefer they wouldn't. 

Tears….

_Rangiku…_

Winter…he would go for her in winter…

He needed her…

_He loved her…_

Hueco Mundo was a dry, empty, lonely place without her bright company to keep him lively...

Without her, nothing was lively anymore. Life held no entertainment or joy in this place; his grin was much more forced here then it ever was back home.

With a smile, so _very_ much the opposite of his usual grin, he turned and looked out at the contrived moon that hung suspended in the sky.

He drifted into a deep, dreamless sleep, a true smile stretching across his face.

_"In the winter...Wait for me..."_

The End.

* * *

**_Alright, there it was...my first Bleach fanfic. Lol._**

**_How did I do, peeps? Lol. Review, please?_**

**_Sincerely,_**

**_-erena g.t. rose_**


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